Same Sex Marriage And Common Sense


I’ll begin this first attempt at a common sense post by saying I don’t know much about politics but what I do know, and the events of the last few years, have led me to declare that I’m not a mealymouthed Liberal, or a Nazi Tory, or Labour (ha! the Oxymoronic party) – I don’t support any of the big parties. Why? Because all politicians are cut from the same cloth nowadays, public schoolboys harking back to the playground, all good chums who believe in one thing and one thing only – themselves. I’ve stated in my other blog (and it’s true) that I once voted for Colin Firth’s chest, and I’ll do so again at the next election except I might switch to Ian Somerhalder’s chest, it’s buff and he’s younger than Colin. 

So, with no loyalties or allegiances to hinder me, this morning I started reading various online news articles in the search for a little common sense in Britain. I didn’t find any. I began the search with Nick Clegg, (because the thought of David Cameron’s face made me feel sick), and I discovered Nicky-boy is in trouble for ALMOST calling opponents of gay marriage exactly what they are – bigots.

Read this article for the full story — BIGOTY NICK

Now I don’t give two hoots that these people are offended by almost being called bigots, (for whatever reasons they feel offended – being called out on their religious bigotry or their personal bigotry, it’s the same thing either way), and I don’t give two hoots that Nick Clegg MIGHT have spoken the word if it had been down there on the sheet of paper. No, what I do care about is the intolerance we show to each other in this so-called civilised society.

If people have a problem with other people marrying the person they love, why won’t they just ignore it and concentrate on their own lives instead of poking their noses into what shouldn’t concern them in the first place and then squawking their heads off about it to all who’ll listen with the sole intention of stirring up bad feelings? It’s no one else’s business who marries whom. I married a stamp-collecting clean-freak. Does that make me unnatural and evil? Or him? (Actually, don’t answer that, he’s not a good example).

Human beings are human beings. It shouldn’t matter if someone is straight, gay, bi, or celibate, black, white, brown, or green with blue spots. What should matter is that when two people love each other enough to want to marry they can do so without the petty mentalities of others trying to spoil it.

Common sense dictates that when love is in the air only the stupid and the ignorant want to replace it with hatred. 


If you think my view is a simplistic one, you’re correct, it is. And why shouldn’t it be? Why complicate it with argument after argument when the only important thing about the whole subject is LOVE.

Love thy neighbour?


P.S.  If people don’t like being labelled as bigots maybe they should have a good, long think about why they’re being perceived as bigots in the first place. A bigot, as defined by my little free desktop dictionary, WordWeb, is “A prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own” — which, in my opinion, makes EVERYONE a bigot at some level, myself included (I’m always right).

Any thoughts, anyone?



About Dotty Headbanger

I'm British. I love you. I'm nice like that.

Posted on September 12, 2012, in Politics, Religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 46 Comments.

  1. Dotty I agree whole heartily. Your comment about common sense I think sums it up rather well. And who are we to pass legal judgement upon a person when they have not violated our own personal space. Who you love Gould not be a factor,now if your love requires the slaughter of small kittens then yes that’s wrong! But really people need to get over it. But that’s just the opinion of one humble man.

  2. Dearest Dotty,
    I get it when people don’t understand the whole same sex thing. It’s ok to NOT understand it. I myself think that bi-sexual people are the most evolved folks on this planet.
    Cuz they aren’t paying attention to the body that packages the soul. They are just falling in love with the SOUL.
    Isn’t that what we are all supposed to do?
    I fell in love with my husband because of his incredibly cute butt.
    I am quite obviously NOT evolved.
    Love, Lis

  3. I should have added, after it’s ok to NOT understand it, that it’s just not ok to JUDGE it.

    • Dear Lisa,

      If people can’t, or won’t, understand same sex love & marriage that’s fine, I don’t think anyone has a problem with that – it’s as you say though, it’s not fine when judgement is thrown into the mix because inevitably people get hurt. I watched a tv programme a while ago about a young gay man who was also a Christian – he was seeking a CURE for his sexuality because his parents and his church had drummed it into him that he shouldn’t be gay, being gay was wrong, sinful, and he believed this about himself. By the end of the programme he hadn’t found a cure but he was still looking. I felt so sorry for him – what chance has he of ever being happy?

      Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear Dotty,
        I’ve heard of that before. Trying to find a “cure”.
        My favorite one people say is…”Well….I guess we all SIN differently. Who am I to judge?”…and they think they are being gracious…and noble.
        It’s NOT a sin. Being who you are is not a sin, anyway you cut it.
        We are not our bodies.
        We are Souls…with bodies.
        There’s an important difference here.
        Love, LIs

      • Dear Lisa,

        Exactly. There’s no choice in the matter, we are who we are – and for people who believe in creationism surely that means their god made each of us in his image – including those they’ve taken issue with.

        Love Dotty xxx

  4. I’ve always suspected that the people who are the loudest in protest against same sex marriage (or same sex anything, so that matter) are threatened somehow. Not sure exactly why… It’s not contagious, after all. And they of all people needn’t worry about being hit upon. Maybe it’s something inside themselves they fear (oh, how they’d hate to hear that one). It’s sort of like the way I don’t like going near the edge on a high cliff or building. I mean, what if I jumped or something???!!!

  5. Dear Dotty,

    Couldn’t agree more. If people are opposed to same sex marriage then the only thing they have to do is make sure they don’t go and marry someone of the same sex.

    I also agree we are all bigots to some extent. I myself have very little tolerance for idiots

    Love WeeGee xx

    PS two posts and I already LOVE this blog 😀

    • Dear WeeGee,

      “Couldn’t agree more. If people are opposed to same sex marriage then the only thing they have to do is make sure they don’t go and marry someone of the same sex.”

      🙂 Wahey!! COMMON SENSE in action. 🙂

      Love Dotty xxx

      P.S. Thank you. 🙂

  6. Well said Dotty. Ironic the bigots are outraged that their bigotry gets called out. And Cleggy is spineless, he shouldn’t have backed down, but maybe we already all knew that.

  7. Damn good point Dotty. I think Clegg should have left that in his speech instead of being scared. I said somewhere today that it doesn’t matter whether:
    man loves woman
    woman loves man
    man loves man
    woman loves woman
    man loves man who used to be woman etc

    It’s called LOVE! They LOVE each other. As you say – bugger off and ignore them.

  8. Dear Dotty,
    I don’t know who Nick Clegg is but it sound like you all are having the same battles over there that we are over here. With all the shit that is wrong in this world, who the hell cares who marries anyone? Well done on your first blog!
    Love, Maggie

    • Dear Maggie,

      Thank you.

      You not knowing who Clegg is says everything you need to know about him. He’s our Deputy Prime Minister in the coalition dictatorship that passes for a government, the ConDems. He’s a wimp, a weasel, and a big wet streak of nothing. And he’s a liar.

      Love Dotty xxx

  9. Some folks are disagreeing on faith/doctrinal issues. Example is that it doesn’t say it’s wrong in the Bible to be gay, but that it is wrong to have gay sex. And that comes after Jesus was here declaring that we should actually be nice to each other. St Paul has a lot to answer for I feel… But then St Paul also said that the problems with this are when people are acting out of lust and not out of love – which to me indicates that a steady monogomus (sp?) relationship (regardless of gender) is ok.

    My point is that some people objecting to this aren’t doing so because they’re bigoted about homosexuality. In fact, I know a gay bloke who disagrees with redefining the word “marriage” to include same-sex couples because it contradicts his belief.

    Of course some people are just shouting about this so they don’t have to stop and listen to their own hearts.

    Life would be a lot less complicated if more people followed the philosophy of live & let live.

    • Dear fhc,

      Some people, those who go shouting about the way they think others should live, pick and choose certain parts of the Bible to justify their own intolerances, ignoring the other parts about love and justice etc etc.

      Regarding the gay guy you mention – is it the term ‘marriage’ he disagrees with or does he have objections to actual same sex marriages?

      Love Dotty xxx

  10. the howler and me

    Dear Dotty,
    It sounds like no matter if you are from across the pond or not… we are all running into the same issues… intolerance, hatred and bigotry… it is a crying shame…
    the howler and me

  11. For what it’s worth, take some consolation in the fact that the most foaming-at-the-mouth radical homophobe from your neck of the woods probably looks rational compared to some of the nutjobs we produce here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. I could go on at great length about this, because it’s something I feel very strongly about. But to sum up my feelings – I’m a heterosexual man. I have nothing against people who are homosexual for a very simple reason. Why would I? What possible impact does another person’s choice of sex partners have on my life? It’s like suddenly developing an obsessive hatred of, say, albinos. Or stamp collectors. Or any other group of people who have never harmed me in any way. I don’t look at homosexuals and see anything frightening. But when I look at people blinded by irrational hate and banding together to turn that hatred into national policy, it scares the living shit out of me.

    • Dear Tom,

      Me too. I watched a documentary a couple of years ago about a so-called Christian sect (if I remember rightly) who go round the southern states preaching hatred against not only gay people but soldiers who’ve died – they turn up at the soldier’s FUNERALS with their nasty banners and chants. I was stunned.

      Love Dotty xxx

  12. Dear Dotty,
    Preach It!
    LOVE, Alphabet

  13. I’m loving your voice in this post. It’s lucid, rational and mesmerising. Unlike the f…wits who have nothing better to do than peer into other people’s lives. As well, cudos for bringing on a great collection of commenters. These people rock 🙂

  14. Dear Dotty,
    You’ve said it perfectly! When love is in the air why complicate it! It should be a marching slogan for the next parade. Love it
    Love Dorothy

  15. Dear Dotty,

    As I have mentioned to you before, I shall be voting either for David Bowie’s Crotch or Wolverine’s Chest. Love, Missus Tribble xxx

  16. Not all the objection to redefining marriage to include same-sex couples comes from opponents to same –sex relationships. Some people feel that marriage has always been understood to be man+woman, and as same-sex couples can have civil partnerships, why attempt – just a few years later- to redefine marriage all of a sudden? And if one redefines to include gay couples, why not threesomes, brothers and sisters, and the underaged? If Clegg ever did regard opponents of redefinition as bigots, he arguably is one too!

    • Dear Daniel,

      I agree, Clegg is a bigot – we’re all bigots in one way or another if you dig deep enough.

      The man + woman definition of marriage seems to have originated with the religious focus on procreation being the whole point of marriage. But isn’t that an out-dated point of view? Also, procreation isn’t a condition of marriage – it’s an expectation, yes, but never a condition. And if it isn’t a condition then it follows that men and women who don’t intend to have children (for whatever reason) should be excluded from defining their union as a ‘marriage’ in the same way non-procreating same-sex couples are.

      The objectors to redefinition might disagree that the married man + woman who don’t procreate should not be classed as being ‘married’ – but on what grounds? And on what grounds are they basing their arguments that same-sex unions can’t be defined as marriage? They can’t just say “Marriage is for men and women,” without explaining WHY they think this is so.

      Threesomes, siblings, underaged etc – I don’t see how they’re relevant to the discussion of same sex marriage. Homosexual adults haven’t chosen their sexuality just as heterosexuals didn’t choose theirs – threesomes are a choice, brother and sister relationships are a choice, the underaged are underaged (in our eyes, not in certain other cultures). Same sex marriages are about love, and commitment to one person for life, everything the word ‘marriage’ encompasses.

      Love Dotty xxx

  17. Dearest Dear Dotty

    Do I detect a slight change of emphasis in your new blog?
    Previously you wrote highly humorous diatribes, poetry and prose pieces exploring the importance of Cumberland sausages to the human condition and expositions on the innate subjectivity of mental health issues. These were penned in a most down-to-earth manner, sometimes even, if I might be so bold, employing invective in highly-charged manner.
    Yet now you write with a keen sociological and political focus that I intuited was churning not too far beneath the surface of your amazing mind all the time. This is absolutely brilliant and I heartily applaud your choice of topic and treatment of each subject. My only concern is that my blog was formerly concerned with such issues and now I wonder if my writing isn’t somewhat superfluous.
    I may now turn to ranting about divers subjects and was considering offering an Agony Uncle service for those in need of surreal advice.
    Do you think this would be a profitable and enjoyable use of my talents, or should I open a greengrocers and take on the Big Four supermarkets?

    I await your advice with bated breath, and remain, madam, your now somewhat redundant servant.

    D xx

    • Dear Dave,

      No, don’t open a greengrocer’s or I won’t be able to reblog your stuff when I get back into reading blogs again. I’m not very good at writing articles so most of it’s going to be reblogs and maybe an odd guest author who can write this stuff better than I can. But when the mood’s on me I’ll have a go. 🙂

      Love Dotty xxx

      • Dear, dear, dear Dotty

        As I said in those dark days when I hardly knew your oeuvre, ‘Thou protesteth too mucho matey!’
        If I had a greengrocers shop you could get cheap vegetables to go with your Cumberland sausages – and with the food price inflation predicted due to a lack of edibles in a world beset with overpopulation, that’s nowt to be sniffed at lass.

        However, I’ll take your sage advice as a compliment and put the shop on ice for now until I’ve seen more of your output.

        Until then, I shall remain, your vitamin and mineral-packed servant.

        D xx

        PS I reckon you’re some bored sociology professor from the OU really…

  18. Dear Dotty

    I was at a wedding on Saturday and everyone was begging me and my other half to get married (well the civil thing) as they have never been to one. I’m not sure what they expected, it would be the same as any other wedding, which is a couple of hours of tedium before you can get drunk.

    People against it should rethink their stance, after all, they have to endure their wedding with everyone gawking at you all day, mind numbing speeches, awful family members, and if in a church the sleep inducing hymns aswell. If they dislike gay people so much then they should want them to go through all that crap aswell 🙂

    • Dear Joe,

      *** COMMON SENSE IN ACTION *****

      “If they dislike gay people so much then they should want them to go through all that crap aswell 🙂

      HILARIOUS!!! And so true!! 🙂

      Love Dotty xxx

      P.S. Are you getting married then? Did the begging tempt you to set a date?

      • I have planned a great party with friends bands playing but I figured I could do that without getting married. Or maybe I will just shock my friends and go full out down to my cat wearing a tutu walking me down the aisle.

        Maybe if they hinted at what presents I would be given would persuade me….

        Look out for the invite.

  19. I always find it amazing that people spout hate and that folks can’t love or marry each other, then in the same breathe admit they have some good friends they respect and admire that they know are gay. Seems like we can only be accepting of those we allow in our inner circle of love. If I know you, you are cool, If I don’t know you you are bad and evil.

    We spend too much time on worrying about others and what they do, vs just accepting and loving people for who they are.

    I read this cool bumper sticker…. If WE can’t marry then YOU can’t divorce…… I thought, Ha! That would teach them… LOLLLLLL

  20. Dear Dotty,
    I’ve missed you. I need to come by more often. My thoughts: You said them. Didn’t know this was a big issue in Britain as well. I don’t even think it should be an issue, but anyhow… I think of all the different forms of marriage across cultures, religions and history.

    It’s gotten too ridiculous here.


  21. People pay lip service to liberty. They say they believe in freedom, but what they really mean is that they believe in their own freedom. Meanwhile, they’re perfectly content to use State force to make other people live the way they think they ought to! It’s so shameful.

    “We are not liberated until we liberate others. So long as we need to control other people, however benign our motives, we are captive to that need. In giving them freedom, we free ourselves.”
    – Marilyn Ferguson

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